4) The Guy Who Clearly Spends Way Too Much Time In The Arcades

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If you find yourself in Tokyo, you need to check out one of the absolutely enormous arcades they have there. Even if you don’t like video games, you must, must, must go in one and see for yourself just how ludicrously massive they are. These things are cathedrals to flashing screens, beeping noises, and insane bouts of button bashing. They’re fun. They’re a lot of fun. But not so fun, we hasten to add, that you should consider sacrificing the outside world for four weeks and never really leaving them.

Try telling that to the traveller in the corner though and you’ll be met with a silence so cold, it’ll make you want to put on two extra layers of clothing almost immediately. This guy has come to Japan almost exclusively for the arcades. His eyeballs are red, his thumbs are swollen up like flesh-coloured balloons, his face is so pale it’s virtually transparent, and his skills on Street Fighter/Tekken/Virtua Tennis/any other game in the entire fucking universe are unsurpassable.

At one point, you’ll challenge him to a game and immediately go with that one cool move you remember from back in the day. Yes, you’ll try to lay down a “Hadouken” on his pixelated bruiser. That’ll teach him. Oh, what’s that? He’s seen it all before. He nonchalantly blocks the attack, counters swiftly, and kills your guy with one mega punch. His facial expression doesn’t change – not even once – and that, that right there, is the thing that will sting your pride the most. Ah, to heck with that guy. Get outside and see the rest of Japan.